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Guest of my Feelings

by Simon van Gend Band

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1.
freewheeling 04:33
some day i’m gonna find myself freewheeling on my feeling swimming like a fish in the river of time with a boeing in my being gonna shoot through the ceiling fly through the sky of my mind i’m gonna float away in the clear blue day leave those thunderheads behind and i’m never gonna get caught out by the feelings that try sneak in round the back door and undermine my mind it’s gonna be fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine it’s gonna be mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine though those feelings come and hassle me they’re never gonna take the dream away and though those thoughts come and hassle me they’re never gonna take the dream away and though those people come and hassle me they’re never going to take the dream away some day i’m gonna find myself freewheeling on my feelings (repeat) …
2.
if you ever need a ride it’s a minute to my station give me all your love I’ll give you all my speed crying in the middle of a bad evaluation chorus: i feel like i’m falling and i don’t know who to be and it’s a minor revelation when i find a way through to the riddle in the middle of me here she comes there she goes stealing animation says she’s gonna show me all i ever want to see but all i ever wanted was a real conversation criminal to live a life of no communication heat wave ice age liquor therapy trigger-happy memories of little altercations chorus write yourself a letter recommend a little downtime talk about a hunger that you just can’t see liberate the feeling when you’re ready in your own time warm bread fried eggs cup of tea steaming in the winter in the morning she was that warm chorus
3.
i’m wide awake in my sleep, got lions stalking my sheep i’ve got molars teeming in my gums i ride my horse on this beach, i chase the things i can’t reach i’m flying on towards the dying sun oh i’m falling in, where streams begin but where will i flow? the cradle rocks the baby tumbles the shepherd to his flocks he stumbles steadily they go steadily they go sugarcane watermelon apricot love in the rain these shadows pull apart my heart feels like i’m falling again but then i look around solid ground wraparound calling my name chorus
4.
lazy boy 04:12
my mother and me, we sat down to tea i tried to let go, to not let it show chorus: i was a lazy boy who only ever wanted joy some days i get by and i don’t have to try but some days it’s all pain and i can’t stop my brain chorus somewhere in the middle of the dream i heard a stranger scream my heart is overcome my heart is overcome we smile and we chat about this and that but the things we can’t say all get in the way chorus
5.
hibernate 04:05
you hibernate inside your head where no-one sees your freedom’s dead you’re causing all your pheremones to show the world you smell alone you can’t get back the things you love, you try you fail you don’t give up you can’t create the will to sing and self help books don’t help a thing you’re holding out for someone kind to come along and change your mind you dream the same thing every night, the barking dog, the birds in flight but like to like, your darkened soul still tends towards the darkest hole where all the comfort you can find’s in tears for what you’ve left behind someday you’re gonna free yourself and fly away from all this shame rest down in the fields of kindness, never wonder who’s to blame pour out in a river of sadness, cool yourself in the gentle rain listen to your heart beat slowly, love’s a song that you’ll be singing again you complicate the simple things with thoughts that fly on broken wings you burn with things you can’t explain, they fight for space inside your brain you think you’ve found a friend to trust who tells you you should lighten up and so you wander off alone to the lonely place you’ve made your home you’re never gonna be your mama’s boy you know and daddy’s gonna wish he’d put you on ship, sent you on a trip, given you the slip and every little thing you love you’ve got to let go cause and effect leads you to the next, nothing to correct, love the effect
6.
sunday morning and i’m tired and shaking can’t decide if i’m sad or if i’m just faking somewhere inside of my head the news is just breaking that i am aching i’ll consider the sun a friend that i’ll be able to laugh and cry with when my new dawn has come send me out to find a love someone i can fly with chorus: mind consider the soul up and down for ages in and out of control out of control now i understand the way you feel my heart it is aching cover me with lies and criticise the love that i’m making somewhere in your eyes the news is just breaking that i was mistaken you come in so many shapes, you hope to fit in someday somewhere with someone but you’re just one of billions of apes complicated by the need to feel like you’re someone chorus
7.
i’m not alone i’m a guest of my feelings of fun i had myself in a knot but i’m coming undone everyone’s losing their soul to a joy that they try to control but me i just want to be whole and not turn cold i’m not asleep i’m awake to my feelings of pain coming awake with a shake at the break of the day the stupidist thing that i’ve heard you get to feel what you deserve and joy is the thing that’s preferred chorus: she said i’d get beyond it somehow but right now this is the furrow i plough her dreams still furrow my brow but i know i’ve got to suffer this now so send me to the edge anytime you need to know who i am flying out over the ledge, i’ll be showing you all i can there’s no better way to get by than to know what you feel and to try honour every goodbye chorus
8.
first you’ve got to spend time with your feelings write a lot of love songs to your bad dreams sail out on that sad and lonely sea then you’ve got to give in to the aching understand that it’s love in the making realise you are what you’re trying to be chorus: i’ve been awake to all my bad dreams here i am for you to crumble into me pain is the best of educations here i stand for you to and crumble into me do i get to spend time with your notions? do i get to fry fish from your oceans? you come to catalyse my feelings of awe funny how you find fright in the feeling could it be it’s your fate that you’re sealing? funny how it feels like you’re breaking the law chorus hold me i feel like i’m falling down speak my name and stake your claim in this ground chorus
9.
so i dream of days when i’m gone and soul cries to be able to run to no-one and i can’t find my way home and all that i am able to do is long for the days i held you so close and everywhere was laughter and leaves and sunshine but now i’m crying alone and all that i can do now is roll and tumble down chorus: and now the house is dark and there’s a beggar at the door and it’s horrid in my forehead can’t fight it any more i how do i defend these cages dream until my heart engages love so i saw her today, her heaviness was sunshine to all my sadness i breathed some light in her day and wondered why i get so alone when i can just call her and ask her to stay and we could wander back through the garden where we once lay and stared at the sky and everything was open and endless dreaming chorus
10.
sometimes words are a little like flightless birds or maybe like restless herds in the heat of the day this thing here that i’m fighting with its not clear why i’ve got to give in to feel the fear floating away prechorus: can’t identify with what’s slipping from my tongue can’t relate to the mental state of anyone still i’m aching i’m burning i’m fried like bacon you can turn me i’d say this side of me is done some blue day i think i might find my way and with a with a little luck trade this grey for a place in the sun prechorus chorus: you put a lot of new lights in my sky oooh you are so brand new in my life and i come a a little more alive each time you smile oooh she’s so light she’s like a feather she could fly all night in this weather a girl like her could untether my soul when she moves i’m a believer and when she gives i’m a receiver and when she’s gone i’m gonna grieve her i know prechorus chorus
11.
succumb 05:44
when you’re feeling sad and heavy in your heart succumb when there’s nothing left for you to do but cry succumb when the feelings rage inside you and they’re tearing down your walls and breaking down your doors succumb when you’re breathing heavy and you’re toiling in the heat of the sun and the rock that you’re breaking is the aching that is making you numb feel the pull of all your pain, it’ll suck you to the bottom, it’ll spit you on the banks again chorus: don’t let your behaviour be controlled by how they told you to be let your sentiments be exactly how you felt them to be when you were three when you’re feeling slight and frightened of the light succumb when you want to go where nobody could know succumb when the feelings rage inside you and they’re breaking down your walls and tearing down your doors succumb chorus i don’t know if what i say is helping anyone in anyway but still i ramble on like this and hope that someone gets my drift when you’re in the clutch of all that’s too much with no-one to touch, succumb
12.
ages burning 05:23
i’ve been afraid of ages burning my traces away i’ve been awake in broken moments to what i can’t say now i’m lost in senseless knowing and what i know i cannot say i’ve been a soul without a hole to hide in losing control of all that i take pride in take me away from all this trying there’s nothing deeper than the sky somewhere a silent stranger turns his face to the wall somewhere a feeling comes against the motive that’s all stand inside your raging silence slowly see your cradle fall i’ve been alive to nothing much but i’m feeling ok i’ve been in a fight with anger’s touch not making it pay stand in line for what you cry for come out and watch your feelings play

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released January 4, 2008

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Simon van Gend Band Cape Town, South Africa

Simon and the Band à Parte are an introspective indie/folk/rock band from Cape Town, whose music has been described as a unique blend of folksie foot-tapping red wine fireside poetry. This trio, with Simon on vocals and acoustic guitar, Eric Michot on bass and Ross Campbell on drums, has released 3 albums to date, with a 4th due to be released on 30th June this year. ... more

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